This plan should be used as a guide and a reminder of ways all of you can increase your safety. This plan should be hidden in a safe place where the abuser is unlikely to find it. It should also be reviewed and updated on a regular basis if the situation or living environment changes.
WHILE THE ENVIRONMENT IS STILL CALM (click here to print out an escape guide)
1. Prepare an Escape Bag (or box or suitcase or any other portable container). Put in it essential articles or papers you will need if the abuser becomes violent and you need to leave in a hurry. It may be necessary to keep the container in a friend or relative's home, your workplace, your spiritual community home, or any other place where the will not have access to it.
Here is a checklist of some items to consider placing in your Escape Bag:
2. Open a separate bank account in your own name and have the statements sent to a post office box or a friend or relative's address so the abuser will not see them. Keep account and PIN (Personal Identification Number) secret.
3. Identify people who would be able to let you stay with them temporarily or lend you some money in an emergency
4.If other family members at risk and living with you are able to walk and talk, prepare a plan of escape for yourself and other vulnerable family members, such as children and disabled or elderly adults.
5.If you are still living with the abuser, look over every room in the house and figure out the best way to escape during a violent incident. Discuss this with vulnerable family members.
6. If you are concerned about the safety of your pets, contact the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), we have a partnership with the Orange County SPCA. They will board your pet for up to 30 days. Contact the Orange County SPCA at (407)323-8685.
DURING A VIOLENT INCIDENT
1. Stay out of rooms with weapons and try to lead the abuser away from them. Avoid being backed into a corner or into a room with no exits.
2. If possible, dial 911 from the home phone and hang up or leave the phone off the hook. The address of the home phone will be displayed to the 911 operator. This will not work from a mobile phone!
3. If the abuser already has a weapon or the situation appears very dangerous, take whatever action you believe may calm him/her down. Protect yourself in any way you can. If you're being beaten or kicked, curl up on the floor and protect your head with your arms.
SAFETY AFTER THE ABUSER IS NO LONGER IN THE HOME
1. Change the locks on the doors and install safety devices on all windows. This is not necessary if you have moved to a new location and you are sure the abuser has never had keys to the residence. If you are in the same or a new residence, check with the police department about the best way to secure doors and windows.
2. If you have minor children, make a list of the people who have permission to pick up your children from school or daycare. Copy this list to a separate piece of paper and give it to your children's school administrators, teachers, after school caregivers, etc. and ask that they get identification from anyone who attempts to pick up your children
from school. Tell your landlord and neighbors that the abuser no longer lives with you and ask them to call 911 if they see him/her near your home.
3. If you have an Injunction for Protection against the abuser, make several copies, keep one with you at all times and keep copies in several places.
4. If you are employed, identify trusted coworkers and/or supervisors to whom you can disclose your situation. Tell them the abuser's name so that they will not put phone calls through from him. Provide a picture of the abuser so they will know what he looks like. Find trusted coworkers, supervisors, or security personnel whom you can ask to escort you to your car or bus when you leave work. Remember to vary the time you leave and the route you take to and from work.
5. If the abuser is entitled to visitation with the children, list the ways in which you'll keep yourself and your children safe before, during and after visitation. Consider asking the court for monitored exchange.
6. To increase safety, provide your workplace, church, school, etc. with a full description of the abuser, a recent photograph, if available and a description of the abuser's vehicle.
EMOTIONAL HEALING
1. Make a list of people whom you trust and can turn to for emotional support.
2. Go to the library and find books, articles and poems that can help you identify your feelings about your situation and feel stronger about your ability to cope.
3. Call Harbor House to find out where there are support groups and make a list of these groups.
4. Make a list of the places and people who can provide emotional support for your children.